YIKES

thegeekyblonde:

kinda disappointed that i’m not already a reclusive beekeeping novelist who lives in a cottage in the french countryside, only interacting with other people when i call my annoyed editor and sell honey and honey-related products to local villagers

h0odrich:

boys are hellbent on stressing u out its their purpose in life, don’t talk to them don’t talk to any of them, don’t even talk to me

springtimegirl:

browsing tinder is such a brutal confrontation with the harsh reality we live in. you’re just swiping through, awful guy, awful guy, awful guy, and you’re thinking like how is this real, how are there so many awful men in this world. surely there can’t be more. but there are always more. 

lilborderlinecupcake:

how do you explain to someone that you don’t want to die but existing is just a little too hard for you right now

naps-and-tortillas:

College is cool because if you relax for a minute then you’re all of a sudden failing 11 classes even thought you’re only taking 5

bpdbabie:

- never sleeps when I need to
- cries at anything
- fakes positivity
- spends money impulsively
- requires constant validation
- clumsy, can’t go a day without spilling something
- laughs at own unfunny jokes

muvaearth:

I love looking mean & unapproachable & pretending like I have no idea why ppl are intimidated by my aura

bossyasfvck:

my feelings hurt as fuck but ima chill

jpgay:

why have a dumb baby when u can own like 6 dogs 

texasenchantment:

The fact that I’m legally an adult is hysterical

dioynsus:

romeo and juliet are ridiculous but i can’t really blame them because i too briefly fall in love with anyone who shows me affection

slimygoodra:

Sexy things to say in bed:

1. (Waluigi voice) wah

bluefigs:

you know when you get to the level of procrastination where you just hATE yourself  but you still continue? that’s what i call perseverance.